A Hard Decision

I think the time is coming where I will have to take Mr Smelly to the vet on a one-way trip. He has become increasingly frail and is painfully thin, despite eating three to four pouches/foils of food a day, plus biscuits. Mr Smelly, formerly known as Tom, before he became occasionally incontinent, turned 18 in June, so he's no young whipper-snapper; and as much as I love him and wish he could live for years more, I don't think it's going to happen.

Over the past month he has become completely incontinent which, apart from being horrible for him, isn't very nice in hot weather (or any weather). He has also lost his centre of balance since becoming so thin, so something as simple as looking up will cause him to tip over backwards, and that must hurt with his arthritis. Kim and I have now taken to walking very carefully and not holding plates of meat (his sense of smell does not seem to have diminished) to save him from "doing a penguin" - I don't know if the story of penguins on the Falkland Islands toppling over backwards while looking at low flying planes is true, but the myth has stuck.

The poor old boy seems to be losing his sight too, as he will often not see treats unless you bump him on the nose with them. The worst part is that he tries so hard to still be part of the family. Tom has always had his own chair at the kitchen table, and will curl up on a cushion beside us on a Sunday morning while we drink tea and do the crossword. He is now struggling to even climb on to a chair and the other day fell off, landed on his side and seemed badly shaken for a while.

In all other respects, he's ok - I don't believe he's in pain, except when he falls over, but I'm beginning to think that he's not really enjoying life any more. Tommy has been with me, through thick and thin for 18 years, and I can't imagine what life without the grumpy old bugger will be like, but it feels wrong and selfish to keep him lurching along when he doesn't seem to be content any longer. I have talked to Kim about this, and I know he cares about Mr Smelly so much that I don't think he really wants to face the one way journey, so I shall make this decision on my own - I can't let Kim feel in any way responsible - he's such a worrier and that would be unfair.

My son is visiting at the end of the month, and I had hoped Tommy would last until then, as Tom came to live with us just before Nick's third birthday; I don't think that will happen now. Still, it's probably better that Nick remembers Tom as the tough, bad-assed cat who beat up dogs and ruled the roost, than seeing this frail, skinny shadow of his former self. This is such a hard decision to make, and I have so many things swirling about in my head, but in my heart I know it's time to give Tom the easy way out. Every time I have come close to this situation before, Mr Smelly has made a miraculous recovery and perked up a bit; I shall give him tomorrow and if things aren't looking any better, I shall talk to the vet.