Doom, Doom...

What a pants day it is today. Howling winds, lashing rain and the lanes are full of plastic bottles and drinks cans ejected from grockle cars over this dismal Bank Holiday.

I'd have been quite happy staying indoors snuggled up to Tom on the sofa, but I had to drag off to Marston Magna and had a bit of a scare aquaplaning along the A303, then I got drenched, despite waterproof, just getting in and out of the car and to top it all off... I have to drive to Birmingham this afternoon, in the rain and with all the returning bank holiday traffic. Oh Yippee.

If I had thought about it while I was out this morning, I would have picked up all the cans and bottles the townies had thrown into the lanes (even if it meant I would have got uttery saturated) so I could hurl them at grockle cars on the M5 - just so they felt nice and 'at home' with the flying litter. Bastards. Why don't they stay in their towns and throw their litter in their own front gardens?

Still, I suppose this weather is a blessing, at least they won't be travelling the lanes today. Our lanes, in heavy rain like this, turn into small ponds and rivers and in one or two places get very deep; deep enough to kill the engines of the unwary and the grockles. Muahahahaha!

It's rather nice living in a place that becomes hard to get to in bad weather. It just makes me wish that it has started raining on Wednesday and continued until today - our lanes would have been nice and clear and I wouldn't have been such a grumpy old git.

Personally, I'm still living in hope that Kim will finally see sense and buy a birthday present for me that I keep asking for. For a number of years, I have been asking for a Land Rover with a sort of gun turret arrangement on the top of it. I have also asked him for a long bow and a cross bow, but he keeps buying me things like diamond earrings. It's very sweet and generous of him, but my psychotic alter ego is getting impatient and this year, he had better come up with the goods, or the consequences may be dire... cos when I feel compelled to go and buy my own cross bow, it will be an industrial sized version.

Once in possession of said items of hardware, I fully intend to sit in my wonderful window that sticks out over the main road of Shepton and Goddess help anyone littering, honking their horn, revving engines and generally making a nuisance of themselves. Never mind 'vengence will be mine', all I'm after is a bit of peace and quiet and a life not blighted but inconsiderate bastards, local and grockle.